So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
