I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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