He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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