My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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