my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
