he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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