Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
