Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
