Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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