Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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