I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
