If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
