you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
