More tranny stories later!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
