No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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