It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
