she smelled like a LAN party
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
