I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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