I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
