Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
