I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
