So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
