I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize