Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
