Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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