I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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