Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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