Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
