I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
