The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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