Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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