Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
