Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
