why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
