the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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