Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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