you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
