Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
