I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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