So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
