Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize