what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
bring money and cleavage
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
