he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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