That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Randomize
