this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
