just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
