By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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