carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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