eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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