you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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