My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
