so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
