I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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