when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Randomize
