Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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