scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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