mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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