I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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