planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
