They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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