just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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