I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
