did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
