can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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