I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
