I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
