it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We named our party play list daddy issues
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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