So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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